Ten weeks of shielding, one not-wedding day, three different venues, more changes of government regulations than I can count… but we did it.
It wasn’t the big white wedding of my dreams. We had 11 guests, a registry office do and a golf club reception. I did my own hair and makeup, and I only found out whether my dress fit the night before the wedding. My dad couldn’t walk me down the aisle. We have no idea when our honeymoon will be.
But the most remarkable thing about all this? The most unexpected?
That I got to marry this guy. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
Best laid plans
We got engaged in October 2018, in the most amazing escape room surprise ever.
Not long after, we booked our magical day for Sunday 3rd May 2020 at Sandburn Hall near York. I had wanted to get married on Early May Bank Holiday weekend since I was a teenager, and securing this date and the gorgeous venue was perfect. Through the coming months we booked up everything else you might expect – photographers, musician, florist, car, hotel…
When I was younger, I expected that when I got engaged, it would be my full-time focus, but I was surprised to find that I had so many other things that I cared about! My blog, game design… I had a lot of other priorities. But with everything we booked, I got more and more excited about our special day.
The spanners started being thrown in the works quite early, when the government announced that the Early May Bank Holiday, which was supposed to be the day after the wedding, was being moved to the following Friday in honour of Victory in Europe Day. Luckily, most of our friends and family were still going to be able to join us, despite needing to book the Monday off work.
I bought my dress with my mum over a year before the wedding. I’d expected needing a few shopping trips, but I fell in love with my dress on my first trip to Wed2Be and went home with it that same day.
I asked my fantastic four to be my Bride Control Team. In July 2019, they threw me an amazing Chick Do, as both Ellie and Cerys would be out of the country come April 2020 when I was supposed to have my hen do. This was a ridiculously fun event involving bridesmaid dress shopping, a cocktail escape room, more cocktails, dare cards, telling a woman in the toilet that I was getting married the next morning (she was very concerned) and just the most hilarious fun ever.
And we had our engagement shoot with our incredible photographers, Jaye and Matt from Tux and Tales. We went over to Leeds Dock for it – which is actually the place where Tim first asked me to be his girlfriend!
Bombshell
Around early January, we started hearing news of Covid, though of course back then it seemed impossible that this would have any bearing on our wedding. But it got more and more serious.
Our guests who were coming from abroad started cancelling. We started to think about what it would look like to have a slightly smaller do. What it would mean if my two abroad Bride Control and his one abroad Groom Control couldn’t make it. What it would mean if we had to cut down significantly.
On Monday 16th March, less than 7 weeks before our wedding and a week before we went into lockdown, Boris Johnson warned us that anyone with pre-existing health conditions would need to expect to “shield” for at least 12 weeks. This was the moment we knew. It wasn’t going to happen.
In a way, this was a blessing in disguise. We got onto our venue and other key suppliers, and managed to arrange a delay to May 2021.
Did it hurt to have to postpone it? Of course. But the feeling I felt overwhelmingly was relief. For weeks, I’d been dreading from the moment I woke up that today was the day I had to cancel my wedding. When that day came, I slept more soundly than I had in weeks.
Rescheduling
So we rescheduled our “big do”, but we were sick of being engaged tbh. We just wanted to be married! So we resolved to book our wedding and get married as soon as possible.
That was easier said than done, of course. I checked the Leeds Registry Office website daily for news that they were accepting bookings. I heard stories about Zoom weddings being legal in New York. I wondered if we’d manage to fit it in before our new date in 2021.
Our “not wedding” in May came and went, and we had a really fun day full of amazing food, brownies, Arkham Horror and prosecco. It was about as good as a day could be when you were locked in your flat!
Around the end of May, I was told I could stop shielding. In July, we came out of lockdown, and still the registry office website said they weren’t accepting bookings. Then, finally, it happened – the webpage updated to say they were.
I called up immediately, and managed to get a notice appointment over a month later, in August. We waited for that day with baited breath. We didn’t have a clue whether they would have any ceremony appointments available any time soon – we knew it had to be at least 28 days after the appointment, but could it be in September? In 2020 at all?
The appointment day arrived, and we headed off to Leeds Registry Office. Our anxiety was for naught – we could have got married as soon as 12th September! For family reasons, we opted for a date two weeks later – on 26th September 2020.
From notice to the ceremony
The following six weeks were tumultuous to say the least. Initially receptions were restricted, so we planned for just a short registry office do, some quick photos outside, then our eleven guests (inclusive of me and Tim) heading home.
When receptions were permitted, we decided on holding a reception at Tim’s parents’ house near Ilkley – or more specifically, in their garden. There were plans involving gazebos and marquees and test runs.
Then, of course, Bradford went into local lockdown. But then Ilkley came back out. But then it went back in. And then the Rule of Six was announced. For a while, we imagined that our wedding day would be a 20 minute ceremony before we stood in groups of six having a quick glass of prosecco in the rain.
Luckily, Tim’s dad came to the rescue, and found us Otley Golf Club. We’d resisted the idea of holding our reception at a venue, mostly because we had already planned a whole wedding and I didn’t want to plan a second one when I hadn’t had the one I planned. But after the local lockdown and Rule of Six, it was our only option if we wanted to actually spend time with our guests.
And then the day before the wedding, Leeds itself went into local lockdown. Otley Golf Club assured us that legally we could go ahead, and we weren’t about to cancel a second wedding.
This is kind of long, so I’m splitting this into a three-parter. The next blog will talk about the wedding itself, including more PHOTOS from our big day.